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(no subject) [Apr. 27th, 2009|08:14 pm]
redclawskinks
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[Current Location |werk.]
[Current Mood |creativecreative]
[Current Music |keep the car running -]




Often times after I've retreated from a broken relationship, wishing that things would have gone differently, I get (after a significant amount of time) closure. I come to peace with the mistakes I've made and the wrongs done to me by my previous lover, often I can remain friends with them. But this is not every relationship, as much as I wish it were.

The way things ended with my last paramour were not of the good. He became big-headed and said some not so nice things about me behind my back, more than once of course. We started out the best of friends and now it almost pains me to consider him an enemy. We haven't spoken in months and the memories of our times together both make me smile and anger me. Sometimes you don't always get closure though.

I have to say every now and then, when a relationship is left on bad terms with no closure I often feel as if that chapter of my life has yet to be completed. You know it's over, but it doesn't feel like you're both done with each other forever. Whether it's fate trying to send you a little message or simply feelings that cannot be cut off, you have to admit that you've felt the tugging at your gut too. It's the same feeling you get when you see your ex-boyfriend and he tells you how pretty you look. You feel foolish for wanting more, but the heart cares not how it is perceived. It feels to feel, loves to love.

I'm sorry this post hasn't answered any questions for you on the subject, to be honest my friends I'm still looking for an answer. Although something my mother always repeated in the kitchen comes to mind. She always used to say, "Even if you think it's done, you should give it another few minutes just to be completely sure."

I guess when you get closure you're sure, and when you don't you go looking for that satisfying sense of finality. Here's hoping that you and I find what we're looking for.

Live good, love safe. --RedClaw
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Money can't buy me love [Feb. 16th, 2009|02:28 pm]
redclawskinks
[Tags|, ]
[Current Location |work]
[Current Mood |creativecreative]
[Current Music |Alala - CSS]




After arguing with my boyfriend and him returning to my house an hour later with some of my favorite snacks and some flowers I began to wonder . . . .

Why do significant others feel as if purchasing gifts for each other somehow magically will help solve problems in relationships that need to actual honest communication to fix?

Men buy women flowers, chocolates, etc. in situations where they want to apologize. However, rather than say the actual words and express themselves emotionally, they open their wallets instead. I suppose with our economy what it is today and money becoming more and more of an issue in today's relationships certain gestures do seem pretty grand but money can't fix everything. If your boyfriend cheats and buys you diamonds, how will that ring assure you he won't go out one night and be unfaithful again? Newflash! It won't. Diamonds won't tell you what you want or need to hear, only your lovers mouth can do that.

Now I myself have purchased cologne, clothing, books, movies, and dozens of other things for past boyfriends out of guilt. Buying those things only gave me the subconscious feeling that I could continue to do things that would upset him as long as I made up for it financially, which is ridiculous. But you can kind of understand where the sentiment would originate. I work for my money, the things I spend my money on I work for, so it's a natural subsconcious feeling to think that because I'm spending money on my boyfriend I'm working on our relationship too. This is wrong, wrong, wrong.

When did a price tag determine the worth of our feelings?

Don't get me wrong, gifts are wonderful, and everyone likes to feel special but don't ever let a gift equal an apology in any relationship. Bottle up your true feelings and using a quick fix will just cause a lot more problems to spring up down the road.

Talk about your problems, I know it's rough but when a problem is finally resolved, that's a real gift in a relationship you can treasure together. So kiddies, just remember that The Beatles are right. Money can't buy me, or you, love.

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cupid kills [Feb. 9th, 2009|06:20 pm]
redclawskinks
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[Current Location |work]
[Current Mood |lovedloved]
[Current Music |cry little sister - aiden]



Well my friend it's almost Valentine's Day! Whether you are in love and awaiting a celebration, single and hating the greeting card companies, or with someone you just want to get their ass of the couch and do something with you, you have to admit that paper hearts and chocolates are abound.

Personally, I'm not a big fan of Valentine's day.  Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the giving and receiving of candy and gifts, but these days more emphasis is placed on the gift the person gives you rather than the amount of love they actually have for you. However, this year I am much less cynical having recently been to a wedding of two good friends that are very much in love. Some people work for their paychecks and some lucky assholes win the lottery I suppose. My tip to you this Valentine's Day is to not only work on strengthening your sexual and emotional bonds with someone, but your mental ones. Let us not forget that love starts with our heads as well as our nether regions.

For those single men and women out there don't let those saccharine-sweet lovers get you down! Get up, get dressed, and go out! Most people find their next lover when they aren't even looking or really expecting it. A fun thing to do if you're single is to go check out the local music in your city. Dance clubs are horrible places for really connecting with someone, try for a smaller setting. Small venues are perfect because they have three things to make any Saturday night good

- Cocktails
- Live music
- and there's always new people to meet and make friends with.

If you're with someone and you're trying to save some money on Valentine's Day, people always love home cooked meals or relaxing on the beach. And most girls will still swoon for a great mix tape. Or cd if you're new school. Try to mix up the old mushy favorites with some newer love songs like "Wild Horses" by the Sundays, "Flow" by Transister, and "Constant Knot" by City and Colour. Just don't forget to ask her to slow dance.

Girls, boys are the easiest to shop for on Valentine's Day. Just pretend to have gotten him nothing, but be sure to wear some sexy lingerie under your regular clothing, that way you two are finally alone he'll get a nice little surprise. Or you could play this little game I created with my boyfriend.

Buy a few gold star stickers and place them over your body in areas like the back of your neck, behind your knee, on your hipbone, your lower back, the inside of your thigh, etc. and ask your lover to find and kiss around all the stars. If he finds all of them without any direction from you make sure to give him a little attention for being such a good boy.

So Happy Valentine's Day you guys! Hope whatever you're doing or whoever you're doing it with put you in excellent spirits!



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(no subject) [Jan. 21st, 2009|07:40 pm]
redclawskinks
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[Current Location |work]
[Current Mood |creativecreative]
[Current Music |thunderkiss 65-white zombie]


So I figured I'd begin my first post by talking about firsts in general. Or in other words, this is the post about virgins. Whether you love or hate 'em, we were all one at one point. These days virgins are hard to come by, unless you're one of those weirdos picking up freshman outside of high schools, and if you are then for shame!

I do have one virgin friend that asked me this, "Does it hurt the first time for a girl?" My friend, we'll call her Leggy, is a virgin and like most girls of her age is somewhat scared by the myths of one's first sexual experience.

The answer to this question? Well Leggy, like most things in life, it all just depends on your situation. If you and partner have had foreplay before the actual act of penetration and you take things slow then no, the first time shouldn't hurt. It'll probably feel pretty uncomfortable the first few times but once you get used to the feeling of someone inside you, you'll start to enjoy it.

I do have one friend that had a horrible first time, her boyfriend had an incredibly large penis (I can vouch for this as one drunken weekend I caught a um- glance at it haha). But a large penis can still feel uncomfortable for any girl, it just depends on the shape and size of her vagina.

My first time didn't hurt at all (luckily he was a little below average in size) and I lost it to someone I really cared about at the time. Losing your virginity is special, which is why when so many girls pop their cherry they become emotionally attached to the guy. So, a word to the wise, lose your virginity to someone who realizes how special the moment is and be sure to wear a condom, just because you haven't had sex doesn't mean your partner hasn't. Also it's good to have done other sexual acts before engaging in straight up sex just to get to know your partner's body a little better. Too much at once can be a little shocking. Nothing can be scarier than having never seen a man's balls before and then suddenly their being rubbed all over you, but I digress.

Well, I hope this was somewhat informative and remember if you guys have any questions feel free to message me.

Have a great day and great sex.

--Red Claw

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Introduction to se- I mean me! [Jan. 19th, 2009|08:11 pm]
redclawskinks
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[Current Location |work.]
[Current Mood |creativecreative]
[Current Music |wreck of the day-anna nalick]

Hello everyone out there! I'm Red Claw, Red for short I suppose. I've created this journal at the request of some of my friends. I plan to use this journal to help myself and all you other people out there with your questions about love, sex, and relationships.

I am open to recieving questions from anyone, just send me a message through livejournal and I'll be glad to answer it and if you want to keep your questions anonymous that's fine too! After all, I am using a pseudonym to protect myself and my lovers from embarrassment, anger, humiliation, etc so if you want to keep things on the down low too, that's fine with me.

I must start off by also saying I am not a doctor, I don't have a degree in anything YET, but I do have a plethora of experience. I've dated about a million guys, a girl or two, worked in a sex shop, have experimented with drugs, have had my heart broken, broken the hearts of others and I have seen every episode of Sex and The City six times. (That last bit was a joke btw.) If I have to consult someone with a degree to answer a question for you it would be my pleasure. And I will do my best to answer all questions sent to me, whether in a message or here in my journal.

I'm also going to be showing you guys some fun tips and tricks that have worked for me in the past and sharing some funny stories every now and then.

I hope you guys will enjoy and maybe walk away with something you didn't know before, thanks for reading!

-Red Claw
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