||[Apr. 27th, 2009|08:14 pm]
|||||keep the car running -||]|
Often times after I've retreated from a broken relationship, wishing that things would have gone differently, I get (after a significant amount of time) closure. I come to peace with the mistakes I've made and the wrongs done to me by my previous lover, often I can remain friends with them. But this is not every relationship, as much as I wish it were.
The way things ended with my last paramour were not of the good. He became big-headed and said some not so nice things about me behind my back, more than once of course. We started out the best of friends and now it almost pains me to consider him an enemy. We haven't spoken in months and the memories of our times together both make me smile and anger me. Sometimes you don't always get closure though.
I have to say every now and then, when a relationship is left on bad terms with no closure I often feel as if that chapter of my life has yet to be completed. You know it's over, but it doesn't feel like you're both done with each other forever. Whether it's fate trying to send you a little message or simply feelings that cannot be cut off, you have to admit that you've felt the tugging at your gut too. It's the same feeling you get when you see your ex-boyfriend and he tells you how pretty you look. You feel foolish for wanting more, but the heart cares not how it is perceived. It feels to feel, loves to love.
I'm sorry this post hasn't answered any questions for you on the subject, to be honest my friends I'm still looking for an answer. Although something my mother always repeated in the kitchen comes to mind. She always used to say, "Even if you think it's done, you should give it another few minutes just to be completely sure."
I guess when you get closure you're sure, and when you don't you go looking for that satisfying sense of finality. Here's hoping that you and I find what we're looking for.
Live good, love safe. --RedClaw